This is a mostly true story. Parts have been exaggerated to make it funnier.
About a month ago
and I went on a delightful summer vacation to Provincetown, Massachusetts (Colloquially known as "P-Town.") for a day-trip as one of our stops. It's a beautiful coastal town with lots of great shops, art galleries, etc. Oh, and it just so happens to be one of the key LGBT vacation-spots in North America, so everywhere we went there were gay couples and drag queens. It made for great colorful scenery. (Yes, that's me on the left. I'm on vacation, after all.)
As we were walking between locales, apropos of nothing, this portly, and extremely unconvincing drag queen slowly trudged towards us from between a clam shack and what was probably another clam shack, on an oversized tricycle.
And so in a thick, grungy accent this drag queen did relay this important tidbit of information:
"JESUS CAN'T HELP YOU HERE."
And backpedaled into the alley from whence they came.
The actual incident was much funnier in person, so my humorously morbid take on it can't possibly do it justice. We still had an absolutely lovely time on the coast, and much laughs were had.
My favorite sight: Directly next to a sex shop with the fairly unassuming name "Eros", there was a candy store named "The Fudge Factory."
If that was intentional, whoever put those stores next to each other was a mad genius. XP