THE CANONICAL ENDING
"Here she is, your majesty." Desda declared, kneeling before Prince Otis. "Your blushing bride to be, returned to you all in one piece."
She turned to look behind her. Heathloaf was standing nearby next to Desda's horse, with a svelte body laying across it, draped in the most beautiful silver garments, lovingly made up, extravagant jewelry adorning her. She was a prim and perfect porcelain doll of sorts.
"Thank goodness...you can't imagine how happy this makes me...I have longed for her sweet embrace since her disappearance the night before...so very much..." Otis added.
"If you please..." Desda said to Heathloaf, who looked around absent-mindedly for a while, before Desda cleared her throat.
"Ooh, yes! Roight!"
Heathloaf lifted the feminine frame from the horse and laid him in Otis' arms. Her crimson lips sparkled in the moonlight, as did her silver gown shimmer beneath it. Otis' eyes lit up to behold her beautiful, effete visage.
"Glorious...She's every bit a vision that I remember her...For truly, she shall make me the happiest monarch, in all of recorded human hist-HA HA! Say, I don't remember her hair being black, though." He said, completely shifting in mood mid-way.
"Ah...are you sure? I distinctly remember the reward posters mentioning black hair, my liege." Desda replied, hastily.
"Really? I don't remember that either...Say, do we have any on-hand we could see to confirm that?"
Desda looked over at Heathloaf. As the conversation had been going on, he'd managed to snatch up all the posters they'd come across...and the last of them were now sticking out of his mouth. Not for long though, as he gulped down the last bit of paper, and covered it up with a grin.
"...Nope." Desda said.
"HA HA! Well you seem like a straight-shooter, so I'll trust you to that!" Otis replied. Suddenly the princess-to-be stirred, and Otis resumed his whimsical tone. "Hark! She awakens! ...Are you alright my love?"
"Mmuh...where...what hap..." She opened her eyes fully and shrieked. "AGH! Wait! What's happened to my voice?! Heathloaf?! What's going..." Then she looked down at herself and shrieked again. "AGH! What's happened to me!? What's going on?! What-"
"My goodness, I suppose you are quite exhausted from whatever ordeals you have been through, my dearest Charlotte. Don't worry! I'll have the servants get you into some fresher clothing! Only the finest for my bride-to-be...Robespierre!" Otis called into his hallway. "Robey?!"
"Your highness, I'M Robespierre! Somehow I-" Robespierre protested, trying to loosen herself from Otis' grip.
"HA HA! What a relief to see that she has still retained her sense of humor! I am delighted!" Otis laughed heartily. "Of course I still appear to be down a master servant..."
He looked up at Heathloaf.
"Say, you're a large fellow, aren't you? What's your name, then?"
"Heathloaf, sir. I was almost Heath Olaf. It's actually kind of a funny story..." Heathloaf replied.
"HA HA! I like the cut of your jib! Want to be my new master servant??"
"Ooh, sounds loik fun! And I certainly like jib!"
"Perfect! You can start by taking the bride to our master bedroom! The rest of the servants will take care of the rest!"
"No! Don't, Heathloaf!" Robespierre protested, but Heathloaf heard none of it, lifting her over his shoulder and carrying her into the palace.
"Don't worry, Miss nice Charlotte lady! I'm sure lotsa people're nervous when they're gettin' married too!" He said, cheerfully.
"DAMN YOU, HEATHLOAF! DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU!!!!!" Robespierre manically shrieked as she and Heathloaf disappeared down the corridor.
"Now as for you." Otis said, turning back to Desda. "And your just reward...step inside, and we'll start talking numbers."
"Sounds delightful." Desda replied, happily following Otis inside his palace.
From a distance away from the palace, Arabelle and Vorhias watched the events as they took place. Vorhias' mood had improved considerably. For the first time in a full day she was wearing pants. She had taken Robespierre's uniform after Arabelle had transformed and dressed him in Vorhias' place. It was a tad too bulky for her to walk around in public in, but that didn't matter.
"Boy...he sure looked steamed." Vorhias commented, brushing her no-longer erect hair out of her face.
"Well in about an hour or so 'she' won't even mind..." Arabelle said, looking on. "I have to say, moral relativity aside this all turned out pretty well. The bounty hunter's getting her reward, the large one is being kept away from society, since the prince found romance, I'm going to get my premium bonus, and you're not an engaged woman!"
She sighed a sigh of relief.
"Yes indeed. Everyone got what they wanted, and everything's coming up-SPLEGTHBTGH!!!"
Vorhias had clamped her hand around Arabelle and was damn near choking the life out of her. She leaned in close to Arabelle's face and glared angrily at her.
"Oh...ruh...right...I'd forgotten..." Arabelle gasped, at which point Vorhias released her. She coughed a few times before regaining her composure. Vorhias pointed at her forehead.
"Right, right, of course."
With a few waves of Arabelle's wand, there came a tiny flash of light blue light, which went by so fast most people wouldn't have noticed it at all.
"There...You no longer have a time-release estrogen spell on your brain. Happy?"
"No. Now turn me back into a guy."
"Ehh..." Arabelle scratched the back of her head nervously.
"...What." Vorhias crossed her arms, looking patently unamused.
"Well y'see...between disarming the spell on YOUR brain, casting one on that servant's brain, and transforming HIM into a her
I'm pretty much tapped out for magic spells today."
"Ugh...I don't believe this." Vorhias buried her face in her hand. "Why can't you just use a mana potion or something so you CAN use that spell now??"
"Mana potion?" Arabelle scoffed. "What are you, 5? Everybody knows that mana potion stuff is the stuff of fairy tales."
".........You sicken me." Vorhias replied.
"I've only got enough magic energy in me today to either change you back, or send you back to your realm. Not both."
"Oh don't be so cross. The spell in your head is what had been keeping you locked in this form. Now that that's been disarmed it should wear off in about a week once you get back to your world."
"A week?? What am I supposed to do for a week like this?"
"Uhm...not my department?" Arabelle responded with a nervous chuckle.
"...Send me back before I decide to squash you because it'd be quicker."
"Yes'm." Arabelle responded. She waved her magic wand all around in the air, conjuring mystical energies, and other various sparkly things. Slowly they all formed together and a magical gateway opened up from nothingness.
"This should take you to EXACTLY the time you left off after being removed from your realm."
"Good." Vorhias said, getting up and heading to the portal. She'd placed one foot in before Arabelle called back to her.
"Oh, Char...uhm...Vorhias...heh heh...No hard feelings about this whole ordeal? Eh??" She asked, awkwardly.
"Go fuck yourself, Arabelle." Vorhias growled.
"Okay. Okay. Fair enough...Have a nice trip." Arabelle answered, and turned to leave.
Vorhias shook her head and stepped into the portal. It slowly closed as soon as she'd entered a ways into it.
The Kingdom of Kingdom would presumably never hear from her again.
"Sooo...that's how your day went." Dreamer asked, in between sips of tea. "Your WHOLE day."
"Yeah." Vorhias replied. She'd met with Dreamer at a small sidewalk café, to tell her all about her experiences from earlier, and Dre was either not buying it or finding it absolutely hilarious. Vorhias couldn't tell precisely.
"So you almost became a princess."
"Yes." Vorhias rolled her eyes. "That's the 3rd time in this conversation you've brought that up."
"Sorry, it just sounds so funny when you say it out loud." Dre responded, stifling a giggle. "And so you say that's why you're a girl THIS time around."
"And it's going for a whole week."
Dre took another sip of tea.
"Okay. I guess I won't be asking you to move a couch anytime this week."
"Fun-nee." Vorhias replied, rolling her eyes.
"I like that name you had, though. 'Charlotte.' It's cute."
"Say, y'know what's fun? Changing the subject."
"Right, right, sorry..."
"You know either way I'm going to take advantage of this week, right?"
"At least let me finish this croissant."
"Okay, okay. Fine." Dre replied. She got up from her seat to take her empty cup back up to the counter, stopping only to give Vorhias a friendly hug. "Take all the time you want."
"Right..." Vorhias replied, smiling just a little bit.
"You're totally going to have to show me that dance someday, though."