Vorhias burst out of the servants dungeon as fast as her dainty legs could carry her underneath the weight of all the fabric she had on, hoping that she would find herself still in torn, or perhaps in a hidden room in the palace. Sadly such a thing was not to be, as she slammed open the door, and beheld a vast forest which looked like it could go on for miles. As for the dungeon, it appeared only to be a portion of a basement to a dilapidated shotgun shack.
The only consolation was that through the trees, Vorhias could see the sun was just starting to rise, so she had plenty of time to act before midnight.
Move faster you great big lummox! She heard faintly approaching from behind. Uh oh. Robespierre and his enormous viking-man were approaching. Quickly Vorhias darted behind some nearby bushes, making sure to keep out of sight.
Blast it all! Robespierre snarled as soon as he made it out of his shack. Shes gone!
Heathloaf said, coming up close behind Robespierre. Twas noice of er to visit when she was ere. I do ope she pops by again.
Robespierre yanked Heathloaf by the beard, bending him over to Robespierres eye level.
OWCHIE!!! Heathloaf yelped.
Now you listen to me. I am not about to simply abandon this plan of mine and go back to being the man who cleans up the princes messes! OH-ho-ho-hooooo no! Robespierre started to rant. If I have to search this whole blasted kingdom I am going to find that airheaded tart, and collect a kings ransom doing so! Mark my words!
Robespierre released his grip on Heathloafs beard, and then started down the forest path from his shack, Heathloaf following not far behind, clutching his chin in pain.
Well clearly I dont want to go that way
Vorhias muttered, as her two antagonists took chase in the wrong direction.
Unfortunately there was no other path she could follow without running into them. Vorhias already had a piss-poor sense of direction as it was, and if she went into the forest head on, shed never get out in time.
Clearly this was a conundrum that required some heavy thin-
Hey!!! What happened?! A familiar voice called out from above, the mere sound of it made Vorhias blood boil. She peered up, finding Arabelle flittering just above her head.
YOU! Look what youve gotten me into you oversized gnat!
Hey come on now, theres no need for that language! Im every bit as discouraged as you are right now!
No youre not! Youve only got your job to lose! If I dont get out of this forest Im gonna lose my mind and end up falling head over heels for a tree or something, thanks to your stupid time bomb!
You dont understand at all! Arabelle stammered. This has become more than just a misunderstanding! This has become a screw-up of the highest degree imaginable! If word of this reaches the Ministry of Myth I wont just get fired, but Ill get blacklisted from working ANYWHERE in my dimension!
Arabelle got uncomfortably close to Vorhiass face, grabbing her cheeks with her tiny hands to emphasize her point.
LOOK AT ME! DO YOU THINK I WOULD LAST IN ANY OTHER REALM?!! DO YOU?!?!
Vorhias casually swatted Arabelle away from her.
Good riddance, say I! You got me into this mess in the first place, so unless you can get me out of it I dont give a damn what happens to you!
How many times do I need to apologize?! Arabelle demanded. Vorhias simply scowled at her.
For starters you could replace this dowdy get-up with something with a little more mobility?? I can barely move on plain flat surfaces! You think Im gonna be able to make good time walking through the forest in these heels?!
I cant! I cant get too directly involved from here without attracting the Ministry of Myths attention!
Then youre useless to me. Vorhias grumbled, starting down the path, hoping that there was enough distance between her and Robespierre that she wouldnt run into them, or at least be able to take a forked path away from them.
Wait! Arabelle shouted, following Vorhias.
If the Minstry of Myth finds out about it then youre even more screwed than before!
The higher-ups there arent necessarily the most empathetic of people
Whenever a magical mishap arises they tend to resort to the easiest way of dealing with it possible.
What is THAT supposed to mean?
something like this could probably fetch them a lot of unwanted controversy. Controversy that could only be gotten rid of by disposing of the guilty parties.
A lump formed in Vorhias throat.
Well like I said theyd fire me
the last time something like THIS happened, they just took the hapless mortal to the lobby and turned them into a marble statue-
WHAT?! Vorhias shrieked. THATS LUNACY! They cant do that to me!
Like I said! Theyre not sympathetic to mortals! So unless you want to spend the rest of your days as an extremely gorgeous trophy (At best) I suggest you dont shrug me off so brusquely.
Well what can YOU do?! You said yourself you cant get directly involved!
I said I cant get TOO directly involved! Arabelle corrected Vorhias.
What difference does that one emphasized word make?
Well for starters I can tell you right now where that path leads.
You can? Where does it lead?? Vorhias inquired, as Arabelle landed on her padded shoulder.
what youre going to want to do, is take that path for a good several yards. Itll fork off in two directions. From where its facing youll want to take the leftmost path, and keep following it. Itll snap off into different directions as you go, but just stay on the main path the whole time. It SHOULD get you back into town by the mid-afternoon.
But then what?? Those guys said theres a big bounty on my head!
I dont know. But Im going to think of a way to get you out of this AND still keep my job. Maybe my guilts gotten the better of me, I dunno
Either way, Im going to be following you covertly to keep you on the right path, and warn of any imminent danger ahead.
You cant just sit on my shoulder like youre doing now?
Like I said: Cant be seen getting involved at this stage. With that Arabelle hopped off Vorhias shoulder, and fluttered in air just above her again.
Ill re-appear to you with further details soon enough. For now, youd best get moving. She turned around to go, but quickly turned back to Vorhias. Oh! I almost forgot; Id take some caution around these woods if I were you. Theyre kind of
theyre kind of strange.
Youll see. And with that Arabelle disappeared in a puff of sparkly, fuschia-colored smoke, leaving Vorhias alone, standing outside Robespierres house.
With that, Vorhias started walking again. A bit shakily at first, but adjusting to walking in high heels uncomfortably quickly.
As she walked, the shack slowly started to disappear from view.
Vorhias thought. I dont see it.
As far as she could see, the whole woods was pretty tranquil, apart from the occasional chirping of birds. It was beautifully picturesque, like something out of an early Disney film.
In fact, this is kinda nice
She muttered. Very
As she spoke, oh-so slowly a serene, orchestral tune slowly faded into the background. She clutched her hands to her chest dramatically. Her eyes sparkled and twinkled, and she opened her mouth, as if to sing
Then reality set back in.
What the?! Vorhias blurted out, looking around shakily. As quickly as it had faded in, the music disappeared without at trace. She looked all around, trying to find where the music was coming from, or what possessed her to nearly start singing along to it.
I was like
somewhere else completely there
She muttered, scratching her head. (Or at least what part of it she could reach beneath her enormous hairdo.) With a shrug she resumed walking, admiring the woods some more.
Ywouldnt find trees so green like this back where I live
She said, wistfully. Its all so
Very slowly the music creeped back in. As it did, several tiny, cute little birds flittered down from the trees and circled around Vorhias, chirping in tune to the music. As if posessed she twirled around with them, and once again opened her mouth to sing
and once again regain consciousness before doing so.
Frantically she started swatting the birds away, who proceeded to fly off in every direction.
SHOO! GO AWAY! BEAT IT! SCRAM!!!
Panting heavily, Vorhias once again looked around, confused and provoked.
this is getting ridiculous. Song cues do not just happen out of nowhere. Vorhias grumbled, once again heading up the path.
Dont think about the forest
She thought. Dont marvel at the beauty of the trees, or the overall tranquility and serenity of it all, or-
Slowly the music began to creep back in.
CRAP! She thought. It wont leave me alone!
Without stopping to think, she opened her mouth and began to sing
the wrong tune entirely.
Nobody gonna take my car! Gonna race it to the grooooooound!
The music screeched to a halt.
Nobody gonna beat my car! Gonna break the speed of soooooooound!
Vorhias kept walking, singing excitedly, realizing that it was keeping away the cinematic soundtrack.
Ooooooh! Shes a killin machine! Its got everythiiiiiiing!
Meanwhile up in the trees, the birds and fauna from before were simply baffled.
Like a driving power! Big fat tires! And everythaaaaaaaang!
Two birds looked at each other, in sheer confusion.
What on Earth is she doing? One asked the other.
I guess thats supposed to be singing? It responded back to the first.
I LOVE IT! I NEED IT! I BLEED IT! Vorhias belted.
this is highly disconcerting to listen to.
I concur. Lets go away, shall we?
With that, the two birds fluttered off, the others keeping their distance, as Vorhias sang to herself alone.
Yeah! Its a wiiiild hurricane! Aaaaaall night! Hooooold tight! IM A HIGHWAY STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!